A strong vision came to me today, clear and colourful and alive:
When my consciousness arrives, I’m laying on a soft green bed of moss. With eyes still closed, I notice the sounds of birds and insects. There is a cacophany of sound, yet it is serene and melodic. Frogs, bees, birds, butterflies; all are happily in action.
Gentle perfumes arrive on pleasant breezes. These are the odours of Spring. Recognisable; not warm and pungeant like Summer smells, but cool and fragrant. I catch early flowering broad bean blooms, a fragrance from my childhood. Cinnamon basil wafts in, not overpowering as it will be in a month or two, but subtle. I almost missed it. I have to focus to catch them, they are so shy still.
Though I have yet to open my eyes, still this would be enough. I am lying in pure contentment, still I look forward to more. I know this place is meant for me and I for it. We are connected somehow. It occurs to me that I may have always been here. It’s possible I have just now come awake.
Fluttering my eyes open, no hurry at all, I note that I am here; where I wanted and hoped to be.
I see the tall grass on either side of me and a meadow beyond with a forest encircling. Flowers of every kind surround me. There is a delightful chaos here that brings me joy.
I am intertwined with this place. It’s as if I know each blade of grass. The moss gently rises up to meet the curves of my back. Without fear, birds chirp at me as they pass, allowing me to stroke their breast and offer my greetings. Bees, spiders, snakes, all manner of tiny fauna, encounter me along their paths, we silently acknowledge each other with familiarity and friendliness. We know each other.
I have nowhere to be. I sense that I am completely alone, but I don’t feel lonely. I feel no desire that I have, no wanting. There is no time frame, nothing that needs be done. No one is calling my name. I am not needed, I can merely be. There is nothing to strive for here, for all my longings have been met. And I embrace this with gratitude.
Lying amongst the moss and tall grass, I notice the light through the young green birch leaves. Dappled like stained glass, the sunlight gently warms me as a breeze blows across like a blanket I didn’t know I needed. The blue sky is cool and deep and crisp. I lose myself in its gaze.
Across from me on my left is a hill. At the foot of this green mound is a small moss-covered stone ruin; ancient and achingly beautiful. My things are there. I don’t know what things they are, but I know that what I need is in this structure. I love to lean against its cool rock wall when twilight hits. There I will sit, comfortably, and read.
There is a book inside that small stone ruin. It is one that I am sorely eager to read. I am looking so forward to reading that book for I know it will be captivating, yet there is no hurry. Time is not pressing on me. I can truly be present and enjoy this one moment. I need not think of the moments that come after this one.
Later, there will be time with others. Loved souls, ones that bring me joy; for them, there will be time. I look forward to these reunions. A rush of anticipation comes, the feeling is sublime. Then peace; for now, I have all I need.
Behind me lay a forest with paths of timeworn stone. These paths have known my footsteps as I have known their every twist and turn. One need not worry of straying off these forest paths, for the paths find you and each returns you home. I long to explore them. Peace, there is time…perhaps tomorrow…Pisek Psychiatric Hospital, 26.3.21
These concepts resonated deeply within me:
a quieted and contented soul
time: unfettered, unhindered, unshackled
connectedness to all living things
from one strand is made many